(Source: , via gifs-for-the-masses)
this cat is the bane of my existence ;A;
(Source: , via thefuuuucomics)
(Source: shaving23spiders, via damn-nature-you-scary)
I HAVE THE ABILITY TO TUNNEL THROUGH SPACE AND TIME!
AND GEORGE! I CAN TUNNEL RIGHT THE HELL THROUGH GEORGE!
I SEEM TO BE UNABLE TO HIDE THE TRUTH. I ENJOY LARGE BUTTS.
YES, I WAS GOING TO DENY MY MUTUAL FEELINGS ON THE SUBJECT BUT THERE SEEMS LITTLE POINT.
WHEN A WOMAN APPROACHES WITH A DECIDEDLY SKEWED WAIST-TO-HIP RATIO, RUMP CLEARLY VISIBLE, I BECOME SOMEWHAT DELIRIOUS.
THIS IS GOING TO SOUND TERRIBLE BUT I ALMOST WANT TO LICK AN AMPLE POSTERIOR ONCE I BECOME FULLY AWARE OF ITS PRESENCE AND SCOPE.
PART OF ME THINKS IT’S DUE TO THE BUTT OWNER’S CHOICE OF DENIM, AND I FULLY SUPPORT THAT.
IT’S ADDICTIVE AND I HAVE A VERY HARD TIME REFRAINING FROM BLATANT OGLING.
IT’S LIKE, “DAMN, WOMAN. I WOULD LIKE TO DATE YOU AND PHOTOGRAPH YOUR BODY.”
RIGHT? “SEVERAL ACQUAINTANCES HAVE TRIED TO STEER ME CLEAR OF THE PITFALLS OF THIS TYPE OF LUST BUT YOUR AMPLE BOTTOM HAS ME IN A SEXUAL FRENZY.”
… I ENJOYED THIS HONEST AND FORTHRIGHT CONVERSATION.
AS DID I.
I DECIDED LONG AGO
NEVER TO WALK IN ANYONE’S SHADOW!
IF I FAIL, IF I SUCCEED, AT LEAST I’LL LIVE AS I BELIEVE!
NO MATTER WHAT THEY TAKE FROM ME THEY CAN’T TAKE AWAY MY DIGNITYYYYY!
BECAUSE THE GREATEST
LOVE OF ALL
IS HAPPENING TO MEEEEEEEEEE!
DRAW-ING IN THE MUD WITH MY GIANT TREEEEEEEEEEE PENCIL!
IT IS MY FA-VO-RITE MUD WRIIIIIIITING U-TENSIL!
MA-KING A PICTURE FOR ALLLLLL OF THE FISHES,
THAT I WANT TO EAT ‘CAUSE THEY’RE FU-CKING DELICIOUS!
DO BE DO BE DOOOO. MUUUUUUUD PENCIL!
MMMM HM. OH YEAH.
HEY GUYS! BACK SO SOON?
I’M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. I ATE PHIL.
I WAS GOING TO DO THIS WHOLE, “OH, HE RAN AWAY. TURNS OUT HE’S BEEN LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE AND IT FINALLY CAUGHT UP WITH HIM” THING, BUT THE TRUTH IS HE SAYS “IRREGARDLESS” EVERY TIME WE HAVE SOME SORT OF DEBATE AND I JUST KIND OF SNAPPED.
I’M GOING TO HIT YOU WITH THE DOUBLE SCOOP WAFFLE CONE OF HONESTY THIS EVENING, BECAUSE WE’RE FRIENDS. HE WAS DELICIOUS. HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN AN INFURIATING ILLITERATE BUT HE MORE THAN MADE UP FOR THAT IN FLAVOR. IT’S GOING TO BE HARD GOING BACK TO DRY KIBBLE.
ANYWAY, HOW WAS THE MOVIE?
MOTHER OF GOD.
MCCLUSKY, CLEAR THIS AREA. NOBODY TOUCHES ANYTHING UNTIL MY TEAM’S GOT HAIR AND FIBER SAMPLES, FINGERPRINTS, THE WORKS. AND KEEP YOUR MEN OFF THEIR RADIOS. I DON’T WANT ANY PRESS, YOU HEAR ME? NONE.
THEN CALL DETECTIVE SANDERS OVER AT MAJOR CRIMES. TELL HIM WE’RE GOING TO NEED HIM TO CLEAR HIS CASELOAD. WE HAVE A SPECIALIST ON THE LOOSE.
THIS IS THE SECOND VICTIM THIS WEEK. I FEAR THIS IS ONLY JUST BEGINNING.
